Why showing yourself self compassion is essential in a modern world
As women, we can be so very tough on ourselves.
We can sometimes treat ourselves worse than are enemies. On top of this there are unrealistic expectations placed on us by society and the media around beauty and how we should look. We have been brought up to think we can have it all and do it all, the career, the family, the car, the house, the holidays, the lifestyle…
This is an awful lot of pressure we end up placing on ourselves and this can begin to take its toll on our self-esteem and self-worth. But what if we sidestepped all this and focussed on us for us, showing compassion and creating a more loving and gentle relationship with ourselves? What would this look like? What if we forgave ourselves for something we have been holding on to? We accepted ourselves for our flaws and all?
Find a pen, paper, and 10 minutes of peace, let’s journal this out.
What kind of relationship do you currently have with yourself? How do you talk to yourself? Is your voice positive and supportive or critical? What are the types of things you often repeat to yourself throughout the day? Do you notice a pattern in your conversation?
Where do you project negative self-talk? What do you struggle to accept and love about yourself?
Think about a time you failed at something, what can you take away from the experience and learn from it?
List 5 ways you can be gentler and show compassion to yourself.
Create a list of your special qualities, that make you unique.
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Now you have some food for thought and hopefully a slightly better in understanding of yourself. Here are a few ways in which we can begin to support self-compassion and cultivate a more loving and kind relationship with yourself.
Practice Mindfulness
One of the most important things to begin to do is become aware of your thoughts, that inner voice that speaks to you. This voice may have different tones and take on different roles, it could be critical, judgemental, or simply rather nasty. Once you become aware of the situation and the voice you can begin to challenge it and create a sense of balance around the thought. I remember a few years ago I had “Negative Nelly”, she told me I couldn’t do anything right. Through awareness and challenging Nelly, I eventually was able to be able to shake her off! Compassionate Clementine was born who replaced the mean comments made by Nelly with kind words. Talk to yourself as you would speak to a friend. When a situation arises and you notice your inner voice changing for the worse, how would you speak to a friend in the same situation? What advice would you give them? Apply this to yourself.
Treat Yourself with self-love
The term self-care may be cliche but it is very important to perform regular self-care in all its forms. Doing anything that prioritises you and fills up your cup and refuels you. This will nourish your mind, body, and soul.
Imperfections
We are all human and unique, embrace this. It is our uniqueness that is our superpower, please remember this. Accepting yourself with flaws and all is fundamental to showing compassion to yourself.
Let go
I remember someone who once told me that rubbers were placed at the end of a pencil for a reason. We are human and therefore we make mistakes. It is important to learn from the mistakes and move forward with forgiveness. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from a situation to gain a fresh perspective.
Celebrate achievements
No matter how big or small it is important to celebrate the wins of life. This will have the effect of boosting and building self-efficacy and self-esteem. It’s good to see how far we have come. We are all on our own individual path and it is important to show compassion for where we started and how far we have come.
So please, begin to become aware of that voice in your head. Do not let it effect your self-esteem and self-worth. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You deserve kindness and compassion . Would you talk to someone you love the way you talk to yourself?
So a little homework, select an affirmation from the following list and repeat it often while looking in the mirror. Do it every day for a week and see how you feel:
“I am deserving of self-compassion and love me for me, just as I am.”
“I release self-criticism and embrace kindness towards myself.”
“I choose to see beauty, and recognise my strengths and qualities that make me who I am.”
“I forgive myself.”
“I appreciate who I am.”
When we are our authentic and most loved selves we can show up not only for ourselves but for those around us. Riding the waves of life with resilience and growth.
Please remember to always seek help from a qualified therapist should you need extra support. It is also always good to talk and get support from those around you.
Much love,
Katie xx
@katiejensonhullnutrition Instagram