Stress Load Audit for mums: See what you’re carrying and lighten your load
Life can feel like carrying an ever-growing heavy bag, especially for busy mums juggling work, family, and the invisible mental load that never seems to end. But how often do we actually stop to look inside our bag and see what we’re carrying?
This is a simple exercise, a Stress Load Audit, that helps you do exactly that. It’s a moment to pause, reflect, and gain clarity on the weight you’re carrying, so you can decide what truly belongs to you and what can be shifted, delegated, or put down.
Step 1: Draw your bag
Take a piece of paper and draw a bag or backpack, big or small, whatever feels right. This will be your “stress bag,” a visual representation of all the responsibilities, worries, and pressures you carry every day.
Step 2: List your “books”
Next, think of each item in your bag as a book. These are the stressors, tasks, and emotional loads you’ve been carrying. They could be big or small; everything matters.
Prompt yourself with questions like:
What’s in my bag right now?
Which of these are truly mine, and which belong to someone else?
Examples of “books” might include:
Work deadlines or projects
Kids’ schedules, homework, or activities
Emotional labour (planning, worrying, remembering)
Household chores and errands
Personal expectations, guilt, or pressure to “do it all”
Health worries or financial concerns
Write each one down. Don’t judge, just notice it. Seeing it on paper already helps you acknowledge the load instead of letting it sit invisibly on your shoulders.
Step 3: Identify what you can shift or delegate
Now comes the most important part: asking yourself which “books” you could put down or share.
Consider:
Which responsibilities truly belong to you?
Which ones can someone else help with, take over, or share?
Are there tasks you’ve been carrying out of obligation rather than necessity?
For example:
Could your partner or older child handle certain chores?
Can you outsource a task, like grocery delivery, house cleaning, or administrative work?
Are there social commitments or projects you can politely decline without guilt?
Step 4: Plan your adjustments
Once you’ve identified books to shift or delegate, make a plan. Start small, removing just one or two “books” at a time can already feel like lifting a huge weight off your shoulders.
This could look like:
Saying no to an extra commitment this week
Asking a friend or family member for help with childcare
Outsourcing a task you’ve been doing out of habit
Prioritising rest, nourishing food, or exercise as “non-negotiable” books you put in to support yourself
Step 5: Reflect and reset
After your audit, take a moment to notice the difference. Even visualising the load and deciding what can be shifted can help your nervous system feel lighter. Over time, making this a regular practice allows you to:
Reduce chronic stress
Build resilience
Feel more grounded and capable
Prevent burnout before it starts
This exercise is about awareness. By naming your stressors and seeing them as objects you can physically move, you gain control over the load instead of letting it control you. Your bag wasn’t meant to be carried alone. You don’t need to carry every book, every worry, every responsibility all the time. By thoughtfully auditing your stress, you permit yourself to put down what doesn’t serve you and make room for what does: rest, joy, and resilience.